Middle Schoolers are Half-Baked

I heard someone at the National Association for Gifted Children's Annual Conference say that middle schoolers are half-baked, and I thought it was the most profoundly accurate description of tweens and early teens that I had ever heard. Not only because of what it says about children this age, but because of what it says about the way we do - and should - treat children this age.

First, the scientific research is very clear about the development of the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain that is in charge of rational thought, controlling impulses, and making better judgments. This part of the brain is not fully developed until the age of 25 - which may say everything you need to know about why your pre-teen or teen acts the way he or she does. PBS's Frontline has a great episode called Inside the Teenage 
Brain, http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/shows/teenbrain/, where you can learn more about topics such as "Do Your Teens Seem Like Aliens" and how the science behind brain development works. 

When your child is gifted, it is sometimes harder to remember the "half-baked" truth. When that same twelve-year-old can read college-level material, has an expansive vocabulary, can compute differential equations, or discuss the pros and cons of Middle East political policy over the last fifty years, parents and teachers sometimes forget that while the intellectual part of their brain appears to be 20, that pre-frontal cortex is not. This asynchronous development is a distinctive part of what it means to be gifted, and one that makes this stage of life difficult for kids, teachers, and parents.

On the one hand, understanding that your kid's brain is still a work in progress may help you keep your cool when your twelve-year-old acts like, well, a typical twelve-year-old. For instance, when homework is forgotten, or when the long-term implications of not having papers signed are ignored, or when someone goes to a friend's house without letting you know where she's gone. This is when being able to mutter, "not fully cooked" to yourself as a mantra can come in handy. But it is also helpful to note that this is a great time to add ingredients to the recipe you're trying to create.

Many people feel that during the middle school years kids are so busy going through puberty that asking them to do anything else is just too taxing. This would appear to be incorrect. Instead, this is great time to hard wire the brain to do what you need it to do. Learning to persevere through effort - and sometimes failure - check. Expanding executive function skills like organization and time management - check. Exposing yourself to new ideas, cultures, and people to develop empathy and an expanded worldview - check. These are all things you should ask/expect your middle schooler to do to help them become the adult they want to be. Now is the best, not the worst, time to develop these skills and mindsets.

So whether or not you're trying to bake a brownie, cake, or cookie, and whether or not your kid is still only at the soft-set stage, keep cooking. Keep stirring, adding chocolate chips, or nuts, or whatever else needs to be in there, and eventually they will become the fully-baked adults we know they can be. Just remember that you're still several years away from  the timer going off.