DOING YOUR PART TO MAKE HOME A GREAT PLACE TO BE

Have the people in your house driven each other crazy yet?

Having a little trouble getting along?

I know if my daughters were still living at home, we would all be having a difficult time. Even with just my husband and I, sometimes 24/7 togetherness for an extended period can be...too much.

So what can YOU do to make this time easier? Not just for you, but for your family? The adults in your home who are stressed and anxious? Younger siblings who might be frightened? How can you make what is currently your teeny tiny little world a better place?

My first idea may be a difficult one to pull off: try not to complain. (It's hard for me; ask Dr. Kelly how many times I've whined already this morning.) It may feel like things are really not going your way right now; you don't like that you're still having to do homework, you miss your friends, maybe your spring sports have been canceled, maybe a brother or sister won't leave you alone. But trust me when I say everyone is feeling like they've lost something in this crisis, and if we only focus on what's going wrong we're all going to end up being pretty miserable. I'm not saying you shouldn't talk to someone about how you're feeling, because a healthy expression of your emotions is a good strategy for better mental health. But endless whining is not, so try to catch yourself when it's getting out of control.

Next, try putting someone else first. What can you do to make the lives of parents, or the adults you currently have contact with, better? Maybe you notice that the dishwasher needs to be loaded and run, or unloaded and the dishes put away. Maybe there's a load of laundry to be washed, dried, and folded. Can you make dinner one night? Maybe you could entertain younger siblings who need a creative outlet. Ask what you can do to be helpful, or better yet, see what needs to be done and do it without being asked. If you can go outside, see if you can help your neighbors with yard work. Rake leaves or pull weeds. They will be so appreciative of any help you can provide.

If you have brothers, sisters, cousins, or any other kids living in your house, now is the time to step up to the plate and be a good role model. Keeping the complaints down and helping out are great ways to start. Keeping noise levels to a dull roar is also super nice when there are many of you in the house. Doing what you're asked - the first time, and without crabbing about it - is also near the top of the list. Not fighting might be at the very top. If you're all just getting on each other's nerves, removing yourself physically or mentally from the situation is a great first step. 

Take some time also every day to attend to your own mental health. Chat online with a friend. Practice deep breathing or yoga. Try journaling - a great place for all that complaining that you don't want to do out loud. Listen to your favorite music - use headphones or a reasonable volume unless it's a concert your whole family wants to hear. Or turn that music up and hold an impromptu dance party! Invite others to a Netflix watch party. Have family game night, start a jigsaw puzzle, discover Sudoku or, if you're like me, read A LOT! 

We know you think that the ATYP staff are just here to nag at you to do your homework, but our number one goal right now is to keep everyone safe, happy, and healthy. If everyone in the house together is making that really difficult for you right now, put your brilliant and creative mind to use and consider what you can do to make a change. Even tiny steps count!

Put in the comments section just one step you've implemented to make life easier in your home! All comments and contributions are appreciated!

MAKING "WORK FROM HOME" WORK FOR YOU

Dr. Kelly and I are both finding that working from home can be difficult. There are a lot of distractions here - the television is on, our families (who are also working from home) are noisy, the refrigerator is close by. How do we stay focused and get things accomplished? 

You may be one of those people who can work at the dining room table with chaos going on all around you, or you may have realized from the beginning of the school year that you need a distraction-free work zone. My thinking is, even if having your own space hasn't always been a big issue for you, it may have recently become an issue if suddenly your house is full of parents and siblings who can be loud, interrupt you a lot, or just don't realize how easy it is to get sidetracked with everything going on.

So first, do some self-evaluating. How long does it take you to do your homework, and how much of that time do you think might be additional because of distractions? This is not just about your physical setting, but also about digital or technological distractions, and we're going to talk about those in a minute. Now think not just about how those distractions are increasing the amount of time it takes to complete the work, but how well you're absorbing the information. Are you learning and retaining less because what's going on around you means your head's not completely in the game? You all are smart enough to know when this is happening - if you're being honest with yourself.

Next think about your physical space. Where do you normally do your homework? In your bedroom, at the kitchen table, on the living room couch in front of the tv? What type of space do you think you need? Do you like to spread everything out? Do you like a nice tidy stack? Do you need a computer in front of you all the time, or just when you're doing your virtual class? What works for you and what doesn't? Only you can know the answers to these questions.

If you've done your evaluation and think you're getting your work done in a reasonable amount of time and absorbing the material as best you can considering everything that's going on in the world, that's great, move on. If not, what can you do to improve this situation? First, sit down with the adults in your life and talk to them about what you've discovered. Ask them to brainstorm potential solutions with you. What can you do to make improvements? There may be a limited number of places in your home that are suitable for you, and if so you might have to get creative. For instance, if you share a room with a sibling and they are in and out of that room every day, maybe you could ask if you could use your parent's room for a set number of hours. Is there a basement area that normally goes unused where you could set up a card table or makeshift desk? Consider all of your options, pick one, and try it for a week. If it doesn't work, or doesn't work as well as you like, create and try a Plan B. 

If the choices are extremely limited, or if there's no better space than what you're using and noise is an issue, earbuds or headphones may be your new best friend. Some people can listen to music they like, others find it distracting, so try different types of sounds until you find what works for you. It might be relaxing music (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4GnVDPD01as) it might be white noise, (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bzNZxM-3xuY), who knows. Again, experiment until you find what's effective. And don't subscribe to anything - there's plenty on the internet that's free.

Once you've done everything you can to make that physical space work for you, you may find that you're STILL distracted. Why? Because digital and technological distractions are a real and ever-present concern, especially at home. Everyone should think about turning off their phone or putting it in a different room while they are doing homework. Working on math problems and don't need the computer? Turn it off or work in a different location. Typing a paper and keep getting Snapchat notifications on your computer? Turn off all your notifications and/or disconnect from the WiFi. Trying to do research and keep going down all the bunny holes? See if you can keep only one browser window up at a time, or set a timer for each website. When the timer goes off, check to see if you are still using the website for a necessary purpose or if you've gone off track. If you're in the weeds, get out and move on. And remember, focus is good, but don't sit for too long. Getting up, taking short breaks, and making sure to move around will probably help your overall effectiveness.

Let us know what's working for you! Tell us about the space you've created! Tell us about your successes and failures in the distraction department, or reach out in the comments if you need help or could use suggestions from your classmates. Here's your chance to help each other out and develop some teamwork! 

And go...

Changing It Up

Let's face it - this quarantine has us all having to make significant changes to our daily lives. Closed schools, remote work hours, no in-person friends, no fro-yo trips. Honestly, it kind of sucks. But we're going to have to muddle through and do the best we can.

One of the things we're changing at ATYP to make this situation work for everyone is the way we run our blog. Instead of general thoughts about gifted topics, we (or I, Ms. Nan here) are going to talk very specifically about what you, our ATYP students and families, can be doing to stay socially, emotionally, and academically strong during this time. 

We're also going to use this blog to be in community with each other. To share ideas on how we're making it work, to support each other, and just to be together. One of ATYP's strengths over the years has been its ability to help you find friends and like-minded peers, and we're going to rely on that strength now. So I hope that you will not only read this blog but comment, make suggestions, and contribute in meaningful ways.

I'm going to start by talking about structuring your day while you're home. First, let's be clear - some people are good at being productive without any structure, and you may be one of those people. Most of us are not. I personally find that if I don't have a pretty firm plan for the day I don't accomplish very much. What should have been a day where I got things done turns into a day of games on my phone, watching YouTube videos of cats, and eating M & Ms by the handful. So the first thing you have to do is BE HONEST with yourself. Don't just tell yourself you're good with a free-flowing type of day, really think about it. Consult with the adults in your house. And then think about creating a plan.

 

Everyone's plan will be different. Some families have already created a daily schedule to help keep themselves sane. Here is a sample one I found from the Today Show. If your family has already adopted this schedule, and it's working for you, you can probably skip the rest of this post. If you're 100% sure you don't need a schedule, you can probably also ignore the rest. But for everyone else, let's think about what should be on the to-do list.

What do you need to do on any given day? We'll use my day as an example. I am working 20 hours per week at home, and I do that over four days, so I need to plan for at least five hours of work time four days per week. Since I am getting my masters degree, I also need to allow time for my online class (Thursday mornings) and homework. I have a long research paper due in the middle of April, so that is a significant chunk. I also have meals to cook, laundry to do, and a house to keep reasonably clean (luckily all of my children are adults and there are only two of us here to mess it up). I also need some time to exercise - definitely not burning many calories sitting at my computer and not having to walk over to Sangren Hall once or twice per day. And I have some projects I can now work on in my free time.

What do you need to think about when you set up a schedule? Do your parents need you to help watch younger siblings during the day? You might have to schedule your work time at night. Are there many people using all of your bandwidth at once? Maybe schedule reading/non-internet work while they're working, and do research, etc., at night when there are fewer people online. Are you better at your homework in the morning? In the afternoon? In the evening? How much time do you need for your homework? Do you want to have most of your homework done in time for Sunday help session so you can ask questions? When does your family eat together? When can you exercise? Really give it some thought.

Option 1

Here you'll see three different ways I set up my schedule that I think might work for me. In each example, the yellow blocks are work time, the red block is classroom time, the blue blocks are homework, the purple blocks are cooking and meals, and the green blocks are free time. My work time and classroom time are fairly set, but the rest I can play with.

In the first example, I have tried to do most of my homework in the afternoons (except for Saturday morning). My thought here is that then my husband and I will both be free in the evenings to do stuff together, and I can make it so I have at least one or two days when I don't do any homework at all. In the second example, I have split up my homework between

Option 2

afternoons and evenings, thinking I might like smaller blocks of time at homework so my brain can have a breather. And I still get days off. The third example has me spreading out the homework over the course of the whole week. I wouldn't get as many full days off, but I have to commit to fewer hours per day. Which one should I choose?

Option 3

These schedules are not perfect. I should have broken out my exercise time. I could have put in specific time for meditation or some other de-stressing activity. But you can see what I thought about as I moved things around. If my husband and I start driving each other crazy being at home together all day, I may have to make my free time during the day and do homework at night! And yes, it will need to be flexible - just because I created structure doesn't mean that things won't come up. For instance, this afternoon I am going to give blood, so no homework in its regular time slot. I will have to make it up at a different (previously free) time.

So all of you who are playing along - what does your schedule look like? You can draw one like mine, with lots of colors, or you can simply make a daily list, or come up with some other visual you would like to share, and then post pictures below. Maybe your schedule will help another student who is struggling to figure this all out. If you have questions or suggestions, you can also post them below. BE CREATIVE AND HAVE FUN!

Until next time!

Ms. Nan

Handling All of our Current Collective Coronavirus Stress

Are you feeling anxious, depressed, or stressed out? We are!

Dr. Kelly and Ms. Nan freely admit that the current Coronavirus situation has us a little... overwhelmed. We are trying to get all of your courses working online, dealing with the technology issues involved with shifting to working remotely, and of course, like you, concerned about the health and safety of our students, staff, family, and friends. It's a lot.

While we are working hard to make sure that we are moving forward academically, we are also equally concerned about everyone's mental health. Here are just some basic things you can do to promote emotional well-being:

• Keep structure in your day. It's really tempting to sleep in late, play a lot of video games, and binge watch shows on Netflix - and it's okay to take some time to relax - but schedule homework time, exercise time, or free reading time. It will help remind you that this isn't actually a vacation and keep you motivated to meet goals and deadlines.
• Stay engaged in class. By keeping yourself involved in your class you help normalize your life, stay connected to classmates, and challenge your brain - all of which are important right now. If you were behind, this is a great time to get caught up when there aren't so many other priorities competing for hours in the day. Think of it as an opportunity, and take advantage so that when things do get back to normal, you can be in a much better place.
• Go outside! Try to get some fresh air and sunshine every day. It makes you feel better AND boosts your immune system. Even if you're not a big outdoors person, a few minutes is a great idea - just make sure you keep six feet of distance from your neighbors.
• Try not to watch too much of the news. We know that gifted students tend to absorb and internalize a lot of what is going on in the world around them - this is not the time to do that. While it's great to be informed so that you can make the smartest choices, turn it off when you can. 
  
• Do something to help you find your calm. Listen to your favorite music, find a great book (non-school related) to read, or try meditation. There are a number of meditation apps, some free and some not. Check with your parents before downloading anything and make sure a free trial period isn't going to rollover into something you have to pay for. The website 10% Happier - more meditation - is offering a free "Coronavirus Sanity Guide" with a number of free podcasts and other tools. 

Do you have other ideas for how to keep your calm during this crazy time? Please share them in the comments below; we would love to hear your coping strategies! You may have a suggestion that will help another student (or adult) deal with what is going on.

Ms. Nan will try to blog weekly during the remote learning time to communicate about what is happening and to give you other things to think about and discuss. If you have something you'd like her to talk about during this time, you can put that in the comments as well.

Happy belated St. Patrick's Day! We look forward to seeing you all (in person!) again soon.